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The Grief Gallery
GRIEF AND LOSS EXPLORED THROUGH ART AND DESIGN
Presented by Grief Grit Grace
CURRENT EXHIBITION
She Was Asian American
PART OF NYCXDESIGN
May 10 – 31, 2022
During NYCxDESIGN, New York City’s annual design festival, and Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, The Grief Gallery presents She Was Asian American.
This edition of The Grief Gallery features photographs, belongings and stories of Asian American women, including curator Charlene Lam’s Chinese-American mother and other family members, as well as items contributed by members of the AAPI community.
Coming to America
This is my mom, coming to America from Hong Kong at the age of 15. She’s at the airport during a stopover in Canada, looking nervous and very ladylike.
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It strikes me profoundly how my mom immigrated to America as a teenager in the early 1960s and became a proud Chinese-American New Yorker, navigating many journeys and balancing many identities.
A Long Journey
If my mother was still alive today, she would be 75 years old. If she was still alive today, living in NYC, I’d be worrying about her being pushed or punched on the street.
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That’s the unfortunate reality of many Asian Americans, especially those in certain areas like NYC. Still. This has been the case for the last couple of years. Grief can be multilayered and complex, and it’s odd to have this bittersweet feeling of being grateful that my mom is “safe” in this respect.
American Girl
I look through my mom’s photo albums — the old-fashioned kind with sticky pages and a clear sheet of acetate on top that lifts up with a distinctive sound. These albums from her teens and early 20s have photos lovingly curated by my mother and carefully arranged on the page, sometimes in playful layouts.
I am struck by how “All American” some of these photos of my mom and her schoolfriends are: perched on a convertible, laughing outside her high school, standing on a sailboat. At the 1964 World’s Fair in New York — a highlight for her whole family and instrumental as an introduction to American culture.
My mom at the 1964 World’s Fair in Queens, NY with the Unisphere in the background.
My mom’s after-school routine: Ironing with her siblings in the family’s Chinese laundry, NYC.
My mom Marilyn next to the family Buick in Queens, NY, 1967.
Items I Found in My Mother’s House
The Soy Sauce
After my mom died, I found myself standing in her kitchen, transfixed by a bottle of soy sauce. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.
Everytime I looked at it, the memories flooded in: Her love of food. Thanksgiving dinner at her house. The Chinese porridge she would make with the leftover turkey.
How was it possible that she would never cook again?
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The soy sauce on display here, photographed during my design residency at Toronto’s DesignTO Festival, was not THE soy sauce from my mother’s kitchen. I did finally throw that away, more than a year after my mom died, with assistance from my cousin Eva (I really couldn’t do it myself).
In Toronto, I bought a bottle of soy sauce at H Mart for The Grief Gallery’s exhibition, to represent my mom’s soy sauce and all the meaning attached to it. It was fascinating to see how immediately visitors “got it” especially visitors of Asian descent. They instantly recalled the soy sauce in their grandmother’s kitchen, their auntie’s cupboard: the dark soy sauce, the light soy sauce, the oyster sauce. A specific brand, a particular label. Depending on the culture, maybe it was a fish sauce rather than soy sauce. Or perhaps curry powder that was the ubiquitous ingredient that evoked memories of food, cooking and love.
The classic tomato pin cushion, possibly my grandma’s (my pau pau)
Vintage travel bag, possibly belonged to my great aunt (my yee pau)
One of many Hello Kitty-related McDonald’s toys, definitely my mom’s
The Italian Wool Jacket
My mom saved up for fashion splurges like this white Italian wool jacket, actually part of a jacket and skirt suit. This was before she swapped the ladylike outfits for blue jeans and bohemian chic in the 1970s, and then blue jeans and sweatshirts in the 1980s. This particular suit must have meant a lot to her though, as she kept it through decades of moves from NYC to Germany, to China, to California, and finally back to NYC.
I was happy to rediscover it in the storage unit and model the jacket this January.
– Charlene Lam, curator of The Grief Gallery
JOIN US LIVE
The Grief Gallery monthly gathering
Wednesday May 25th, 2pm ET (NYC) / 7pm UK time
We’ll start the grief gathering with a brief Gallery Talk about the She Was Asian American online exhibition by curator Charlene Lam before opening up for discussion and sharing.
Register to attend: https://bit.ly/grief-gathering
Part of the Reimagine End of Life Spring 2022 Event Calendar
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PREVIOUS EXHIBITIONS
The Grief Gallery at DesignTO
During Toronto’s annual design festival, The Grief Gallery welcomed visitors to acknowledge personal and collective losses through the contemplation and celebration of objects: the belongings of loved ones lost.
WHAT THE CAMERA CAPTURES
An online exhibition exploring the role of the camera in processing grief and loss during New York City’s annual design festival. Three New York creatives who have lost loved ones share their photography-based projects.
The Grief Gallery at LDF21
Visitors are invited to explore these universal themes through creative work commissioned in memory of loved ones.
OPEN CALL
Contribute to
The Grief Gallery’s Collection
Online
What objects and belongings did you keep after a loved one died?
Contribute your selected object and stories to The Grief Gallery’s online collection (ongoing).
CURATOR’S NOTE
Why a Grief Gallery?
When it came time to pick out an urn for my mom’s ashes, I commissioned a custom porcelain urn from an East London ceramicist whose work I loved.
That was the start of my work as a Grief Curator. Over the years, I’ve commissioned illustrations, paper art and photoshoots in memory of my mom and others’ loved ones. I’ve presented exhibitions in London and Brooklyn about grief and loss.
Channeling my grief into creating and commissioning work from designers and makers has been an incredibly rewarding and healing experience.
After an extended period of grief and loss on many levels, I invite visitors to explore the universal themes of grief and loss through this creative lens. Out of darkness and pain, we can craft beauty and create meaning.
– Charlene C Lam, Grief Curator
hello@griefgritgrace.com
GRIEF GRIT GRACE
The Grief Gallery is a project by Grief Grit Grace and curated by Charlene C Lam. Visit www.griefgritgrace.com for more resources and information about my approach to grief work.
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CONTACT
hello@griefgritgrace.com
EXHIBITIONS
MONTHLY GRIEF GATHERING
Join us for The Grief Gallery's monthly grief gathering the last Wednesday of the month.