WELCOME
The Grief Gallery
GRIEF AND LOSS EXPLORED THROUGH ART AND DESIGN
Presented by Grief Grit Grace
LATEST EXHIBITION
The Grief Gallery at DesignTO
Toronto, Canada, Jan 21-30, 2022
During DesignTO, Toronto’s annual design festival, The Grief Gallery welcomed visitors to acknowledge personal and collective losses through the contemplation and celebration of objects: the belongings of loved ones lost.
This edition of ‘The Grief Gallery’ explores the bridging of distance: Between personal and collective grief, between loss and recovery, between physical locations and disparate cultures, between then and now, and between the dead and the living.
‘The Grief Gallery at DesignTO’ is presented by Lisbon-based grief curator Charlene Lam, who’s originally from New York City, as part of the inaugural FLDWRK x DesignTO Residency ‘6ft (a)part’. It was selected for a Juror’s Choice Award by designer and researcher Samira Matan in the 2022 DesignTO Awards, presented by Yabu Pushelberg.
Add your loved one’s object to The Grief Gallery: The community was invited to contribute to The Grief Gallery’s collection at the in-person exhibition at MADE Design, and via the online gallery wall (ongoing). Fill out the contribution form at bit.ly/grief-gallery-form
Designer Chairs
I introduced my mom to designer chairs. She bought the Eames lounge chair and ottoman at my suggestion, though she had no idea who the Eames were. (True to Chinese stereotype, she covered the chair and ottoman with a big blanket, to protect the leather from the sun.)
When she saw these 1/12 scale chairs on a trip to Hong Kong, she bought the whole collection and brought them back to New York for me. During the DesignTO exhibition, the chairs were offered for free to a good home. I don’t need to keep all the chairs to remember my mother. I now have her Eames lounge chair and ottoman in my own home – uncovered.
The Soy Sauce
After my mom died, I found myself standing in her kitchen, transfixed by a bottle of soy sauce. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.
How was it possible that she would never cook with it again?
I realized I had anchored memories and stories to that soy sauce bottle: Her love of food. Thanksgiving dinner at her house. The Chinese porridge she would make with the leftovers.
Of course I was attached to it.
But it didn’t make sense to keep the soy sauce …
My Mom’s House
5 years before she died, my mother bought a lakeside house. She then expanded it to a 3,000 square feet dream house, with an enormous sun room and a second story.
After she died, the house became my refuge and my anchor, as I found myself largely adrift. In the end, I had to sell the house and empty it of her belongings.
Looking back at the architectural plans for the expansion, I’m struck by the range of associations I have with the rooms and features of the house. Some positive, some painful, all still very vivid in a now-imaginary space.
On Attachment
The grief educators of Being Here, Human define Loss as “the severing of something or someone to whom we have held great attachment.”
After my mom died, I found that I had transferred much of my attachment to her over to her house — and the objects in it. Her belongings had become what I think of as Anchor Objects.
Attached to these Anchor Objects were memories and stories about my mother. Finding myself unanchored and adrift in an ocean of grief after her death, I clung to them.
On Anchors
After a year, I started to feel the weight of being anchored to my mom’s house and her belongings.
I felt like I was drowning.
Sometimes an anchor can stabilize you and keep you safe, keep you from drifting out into the open ocean.
Sometimes, an anchor keeps you stuck, in one place for too long.
And I was stuck. Stuck in my dead mother’s unoccupied house, away from my own life.
It was time to let it go.
– Charlene Lam, grief curator
OPEN CALL
Contribute to
The Grief Gallery’s Collection
Online
What objects and belongings did you keep after a loved one died?
Contribute your selected object and stories to The Grief Gallery’s online collection (ongoing).
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In Toronto
Individuals in Toronto were also invited to bring an object to be photographed and recorded by the curator.
Watch
Laura’s Watch, contributed by Robyn
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White Stone from her great-aunt’s farm in Italy where her uncle was raised, contributed by Alex
Model Boat
Model Boat, contributed by Vanessa in memory of her father
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Metal Container with Cat Fur, contributed by Vanessa
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White Stone from her great-aunt’s farm in Italy where her uncle was raised, contributed by Alex
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Model Boat, contributed by Vanessa
Tomato Sauce
Nonna’s Tomato Sauce, contributed by Patricia
Nonna’s Tomato Sauce
“Every year my immediate and extended family would wake up at 5am and get together in my grandparents’ garage to make tomato sauce for the year. It was a serious affair with my nonna, the matriarch, as our fearless leader, dividing up tasks and keeping us all in check so that our labour would be complete in time for pasta lunch.
My nonna was a force: self-assured, loving, commanding, beautiful. I have four jars left of the tomato sauce we made together just before her passing, 9 years ago.
Knowing that you will never be able to taste the food of a beloved one that has passed away is almost unbearable. The jars will likely sit on my shelf for many more years, unopened. The only remaining possibility of having access to those tastes, our collective labour, and her uncomplicated love.”
– Patricia
Contribute your selected object and stories to The Grief Gallery’s online collection (ongoing).
LATEST EXHIBITION
The Grief Gallery at DesignTO 2022
Exhibition Details:
Open Jan 21-30, 2022 at Made Design, Toronto, Ontario
Event listing: designto.org/event/the-grief-gallery/
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Virtual Tour and Online Show and Tell
The Grief Gallery curator Charlene Lam offered a virtual tour of the in-person exhibition on Zoom, followed by show and tell of selected belongings of loved ones. Missed the Zoom? Check out the Instagram Live with @emerging.grief for a virtual tour and discussion of The Grief Gallery. Thank you, Annie, for having me on!
Curator Charlene Lam (middle) with Laura and Richelle of FLDWRK at The Grief Gallery at DesignTO Festival 2022. Photo credit: Christine Lim.
PREVIOUS EXHIBITIONS
WHAT THE CAMERA CAPTURES
An online exhibition exploring the role of the camera in processing grief and loss during New York City’s annual design festival. Three New York creatives who have lost loved ones share their photography-based projects.
The Grief Gallery at LDF21
Visitors are invited to explore these universal themes through creative work commissioned in memory of loved ones.
CURATOR’S NOTE
Why a Grief Gallery?
When my mom died 8 years ago, I was working as an independent curator in London. My pop-up exhibitions showcased the work of designers, makers and artists, under the names Creative Clerkenwell and The Creative Edit.
When it came time to pick out an urn for my mom’s ashes, I commissioned a custom porcelain urn from an East London ceramicist whose work I loved.
That was the start of my work as a Grief Curator. Over the years, I’ve commissioned illustrations, paper art and photoshoots in memory of my mom and others’ loved ones. I’ve presented exhibitions in London and Brooklyn about grief and loss.
Channeling my grief into creating and commissioning work from designers and makers has been an incredibly rewarding and healing experience.
After an extended period of grief and loss on many levels, I invite visitors to explore the universal themes of grief and loss through this creative lens. Out of darkness and pain, we can craft beauty and create meaning.
– Charlene C Lam, Grief Curator
hello@griefgritgrace.com
ABOUT
Why a grief gallery? Learn More
The Grief Gallery was founded by curator and grief coach Charlene Lam.
Interested in learning more about grief coaching? Get in touch to book a complimentary call.
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CONTACT
hello@thegriefgallery.com
EXHIBITIONS
Latest Exhibition: Red Ribbon Dance, Lunar New Year 2023
Previous Exhibitions:
Curating Grief Pop-Up, London Design Festival 2022
She Was Asian American, NYCxDESIGN, May 2022
The Grief Gallery at DesignTO, Jan 2022
The Grief Gallery at NYCxDESIGN, Nov 11-18
The Grief Gallery, London Design Festival 2021
EVENTS
Join us for The Grief Gallery's monthly grief gathering the last Wednesday of the month.
More grief events from Charlene and The Grief Gallery
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